When I was a teenager, my parents committed some horrible atrocity.
I don’t remember what it was, now, but there was a gift for some gift-giving holiday that did not meet my teenaged girl standards. Probably shoes that were the wrong color or a knock-off of some overpriced brand name thing. Anyway, I was given a gift about which I was less than thrilled and that started a law in my family.
No gifts without a wish list.
For anyone. I made a list, Mom made a list, Dad made a list. And we shopped from the list. No deviation.
Well, some deviation but as long as we shopped 90% from the list, everything was peaceful.
This is not some spoiled teen thing. Even today, if I buy something for my mother that is of my own accord, not something she specifically requested, the response is often mixed. There is some level of gratitude but there’s always some level of “why did you buy me this?” or “why did you think I wanted that?”
This applies to objects as well as even just showing up with treats. “I saw these candies I thought you might like to try.”
The thing is—and the point of this story—I make the lists, even still, but if something happens and the items requested cannot be purchased, I might get a gift card or cash instead. Which is fine, except then I have trouble buying the things that were on the list.
I don’t have an explanation for it. But, let’s look at this year’s list. I asked for charcoal pastels—charcoal, not oil; I don’t like the oil kind. If I don’t get them but get, say, a gift card to Michael’s, I will not go straight away and buy the pastels I wanted. I will put the card away until such a time when I want to make a big purchase that I wouldn’t make otherwise.
Which means the card will stay put away, indefinitely, and I’ll never get the pastels.
If someone could explain this to me—or even tell me that you can relate—I would greatly appreciate it.
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